changes

that is the only word that describes my life perfectly right now.yesterday we had JJ'S preschool graduation,and tonight we have charlie's 8th grade graduation.i am so excited and happy to see them grow up,but at the same time i am so sad.these are moments i will never get to relive again with them.charlie was my first baby or as i like to say my teacher.he has taught me so much about love and compassion. i have never seen a kid his age with such a huge heart.he is always willing to help anyone.he truly amazes me and taught me to be a better person.a more giving person. i feel so blessed i was chosen to be his mom.JJ is such a sweetheart,and such a funny little boy.he is definately a thinker and is so serious! he comes up with questions and answers like you wouldnt think a 4 year old should.he has definately taught me to look at things differently.and to see the world with a whole new view.it's amazing to me to think sometimes it takes a child to open our eyes about things.to help us see not everything is black and white,there is a whole grey area.

mother's day

i looked at my kids today,and felt so lucky.i mean don't get me wrong i feel lucky everyday.but today i felt so blessed that these 7 beautiful kids call me mom.i don't know how or why i was choosen, to have such truly goodhearted and beautiful kids.i feel so lucky and blessed.i feel god gave me such a wonderful,fullfilling life. i'm not sure i deserve it sometimes.and i get scared that i am going to wake up and it is all a dream.and sometimes i get anxiety,like i feel so blessed. i worry something bad is going to happen.and my dream will become a nightmare. i know that probably sounds dumb,but i can't help it.i think it is easier sometimes,to always see the bad part of everything,but you know what sometimes we have to look to the good parts. and sometimes we all need a wakeup call, that life can always be worse. like loosing a spouse or child.
so that has been my outlook lately. so i have ot ride the bus, you know what i'm lucky that i live somewhere where i can access a bus.and my husband can still get to work everyday.and we are blessed that we still have a job for my husband to go to.in this unstable economy.thank you god. you are good.