turned 34 today

well today i turned 34 omg i cant believe i admitted that LOL! funny when i was in my 20's and didnt have boobs that look like a grandma skiing without a bra
i had all of this energy ,now i have none and when i say that i mean it !!!
i feel like i am destined for a rocking chair with a lap quilt
how did i suddenly become my mother ??!!!!! it's like i blinked and i now look like her act like her catch myself saying to my kids what she used to say to me
it's scary!!!!!where did my 1st 34 years go will i have 34 more i feel like i am just sitting watching my life fade away

i know that probably sounds crazy but man when did i grow up and not look at only tomorrow but the future also!!!!! i mean dont get me wrong i have always looked at the future but the future im talking about now is the futureeeeeeeee the one like 30 years away
i wonder what i will do when i no longer have kids hanging off of me and spit up on my shoulder 9 hundred loads of laundry a day it scares me to think of that
because it scares me to think my kids are what define me as a person
what kind of person am i going to be without my kids at home
charlie will be entering 9th grade soon and shania will be going into middle school next year it is all hitting me so hard the older i get

wow havent written in awhile

well i had high hopes for 2009 haha the joke is on me right
it started out with my daughter being hospitalized,then everything just happened in a domino effect we had the flu go through our house twice
between me throwing up and hubby throwing up and all 7 kids and the dog being gross i feel like i was on an episode of this is your life only i felt cheated cause it wasent what i picked LOL i wanted to pick a life where the bills are paid and the dog dosent poop on the floor the babies dont whine and the older kids have moved out and above all no one sick
but then i had to get back toreality and realize i wouldnt trade it for anything
even though somedays an ad on ebay auctioning off my family does look mighty appealing LOL!
hopefully i have gotten rid of the sickies i have sprayed down everything that stands still with lysol including my kids and the dog i got to get hubby tonight who knows what he brings home

so all i can say is bring on the soap opera's and the bon bons i want to live like housewives do on tv!